Numbers
by itainthardtryin
Summary: Dani and Santana discuss their past relationships. (Mentions of Brittana and Quinntana). Prompted on tumblr. One Shot.


"So, what's your number?" Dani asks out of the blue. Santana looks at her, confused.

"Um," she stutters. "You have my cell." She has no idea what her girlfriend is talking about right now.

Dani shuffles closer and takes one of Santana's hands. She starts rubbing her thumb over the back of it gently. "No," she laughs. "Not that number. Your _number_. Like, how many people have you been with?"

Santana's heart speeds up instantly. Oh God. She knew they'd have this conversation at some point, but they've only been dating for a few weeks and she doesn't want to say something now that's just going to make Dani run a mile. But she's grown up a lot since moving to New York, so she knows that honesty is the best way to approach this now. But she's not going first.

"Oh, that number," she laughs off her mistake nervously. "How about you tell me first."

Dani looks her straight in the eye, like she knows she's hiding something. Santana feels stripped bare under her gaze, and she's terrified to let Dani in. To tell her about her past. She left all of that in Ohio.

"I've had three girlfriends," Dani tells her. "But I've slept with six."

Santana breathes a little. Maybe hers isn't so bad. "No guys?" she wonders.

Dani looks away, shyly. "There were guys, but nothing ever came of it. In high school people thought it was weird that I never dated anyone. But I mean, I was so far in the closet that I could basically see Narnia."

Santana laughs. "I know how that feels."

"Guys were interested, but I wasn't." Something about the way Dani says it, makes it sound so simple. It was exactly the same for Santana. Guys were basically throwing themselves at her left, right and centre, but she was never actually interested. But she still slept with them. She swallows nervously, wondering why she didn't just act like Dani did in high school.

"So, your turn," Dani prompts her. "What's your number?"

Santana clears her throat. "Um, I've had one girlfriend and I guess, depending on how seriously you take short lived high school relationships, like, two, maybe three, boyfriends?" Dani says nothing, and just waits for her to continue. "And I've slept with eight people."

"People?" Dani says, clearly wanting Santana to break it down for her.

"Six guys, two girls."

"And you're sure you're a lesbian?" Dani jokes. "Because baby, that's a pretty bad ratio."

And now is the time she has to be honest. "I had a pretty tough coming out," she tells her. "I mean, yeah, it was hard telling my friends and my family, but it was accepting it myself that was the hardest, y'know?" There's a pause for a second as Santana steadies herself. She's not used to being this open so early in a relationship. Dani leans in and softly presses her lips against Santana's. She can still feel Dani's thumb tracing outlines on the back of her hand. It's all she needs to continue.

"I had a reputation to keep. And my school was pretty judgmental. It was hard enough being a cheerleader and being in Glee club."

"You managed to do both?" Dani exclaims. "Santana Lopez, you must have ruled that place!"

"Yeah," Santana agrees. "Well, kind of. I tried to keep a guy on my arm to help my social standing. Always some guy from the football team. Some of them were respectful enough and didn't expect anything from me, but then some of them did. So I just... I thought if I acted the way I was meant to then maybe no-one would suspect. Maybe if I slept with some guys I'd realise that I wasn't gay. But the opposite happened. The more guys I slept with, the more I became convinced that I was a lesbian."

"You didn't sleep with any girls in high school?"

Santana laughs, and wipes a tear away from her eye. "Oh, there was one girl."

Dani smiles. "There's always 'one girl'," she says. "Mine was sophomore year. Nicole."

Santana relaxes a little. This conversation isn't as difficult or as awkward as she thought it would be. And Dani's still here. And she's not judging her for anything.

"Mine was Brittany. And I don't even know when it started. Probably when I was like, five."

"Sounds like you were in deep."

"We started sleeping together when we were fifteen. At first, it was just this thing... this thing we both enjoyed so much, but always behind closed doors. Then I started realising that it meant more to me than any boy, any other time I'd slept with anyone else."

Dani smiles. "You were in love with her."

"I didn't even fucking know," Santana laughs. "Looking back now, I'm pretty sure I was in love with her for years before I even realised it. I was the last person to know."

Dani cringes for her. "Oh honey, were you that obvious?"

"Well, I mean, I wasn't exactly subtle with you and I'd only known you for a month. Can you imagine what I was like with her?"

Dani shakes her head. "I wish I'd been there to see that."

"Oh God, I was a wreck. The best part? I spent so long hiding, so long making sure that everyone didn't know I was gay, but I declared my love for her in the middle of a corridor packed with students."

"You didn't!"

"I wish I was making this up," Santana laughs. "Really, I do."

"So you've always been this awkward."

"Only when I really, really like someone," Santana flirts. Dani picks up on it and smiles. "Please tell me your story with Nicole is even half as embarrassing as mine."

"Oh, you've heard nothing yet. So, I'm sixteen, I've accepted that I'm as gay as they come, and then Nicole comes into my life. I met her through a friend at a college football game when we went to see her brother play. She introduced us, and from the minute I met her I knew I liked her. The whole night through the game she was sitting four rows in front of us, and I spent most of the night watching her instead of the game."

"Creep," Santana jokes.

"At the end of the game, we were making our way down the bleachers and I was trying to find her again and I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking..."

Santana sits up excitedly. "Oh my god, what did you do?"

"So you know the expression 'falling for someone'? I kind of took that literally. Fell down the steps. Not just a little slip. But actually rolled down them. And where did I stop?"

"Oh you did not!"

"Right beside her," Dani says, blushing. "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life."

"I am so sad I missed that," Santana says, still laughing.

"Hey, it was worth it. She helped me up and took me home to make sure I was okay. And she definitely _made sure_ I was okay... if you get my drift."

"Girl, you've got game! How do you manage to be that much of a dork and still manage to get the girl all in one day?!"

"What can I say?" Dani fake boasts. "I just have a way with women."

"I can testify to that," Santana agrees. "So, who were these other five girls?"

"Um, there was Kate - I dated her for a few months until she decided I was just an experiment and she's now engaged to David from our high school class - and Taylor - the girl I got caught making out with in our basement when my parents freaked out. They were the ones I dated, the other three were just hook ups."

"What happened with Taylor?"

"She couldn't cope with being the reason my parents hated me. Said it made her feel guilty, even though I told her it was fine and I was better off without them anyway. But she just couldn't handle it, so she broke up with me."

"I'm sorry," Santana says, sincerely.

"Don't be," Dani tells her. "If she hadn't I wouldn't be here with you now." They both smile. "So it's not all bad. Who was the other girl you slept with?"

"Quinn," Santana shakes her head. "It was just this one time thing. We were best friends in high school, and she's straight, but she wanted to experiment. I was getting over Brittany. We were at a wedding and we were both drunk... and it just happened."

"Did things get weird after?"

"I didn't really hear much from her for a while, but it's all fine between us now. We're good. She's off at Yale fucking God knows who."

"Sounds like a crazy one."

"She's just... I don't know. She's too good for everyone she ends up dating. She's had a rough time and she doesn't think anyone will love her because of it. She's got all of these attachment issues and insecurities because everyone fucked her over. She'll find someone who treats her right one day though. I have faith."

"Everyone finds someone eventually," Dani tells her.

Santana looks her in the eye. She knows that Dani can see the softness there now, where Santana's let her guard down. It hasn't gone unnoticed or unappreciated. "Yeah, yeah they do," Santana agrees.


End file.
